Monday, February 21, 2011

THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S RAMBLINGS

The Incredible Sulk has long sat and pondered on his Throne. A majestic throne it was. Made of green emerald and inscribed with the words Parryware. It was in the process of these ponderings that was born...The Incredible Sulk's Ramblings.

The Incredible Sulk, for example, has always wondered why people ask him, "Whassup?" and then walk away when he is the middle of a sentence. For the Incredible Sulk will start of with by telling the questioning authority the state of this morning's bowel movement but lose the attention of said questioning authority before he even touches lightly upon the subject of roughage.

The Incredible Sulk soon realised that MAYBE, bowel movement wasn't the ideal subject to start of a "whassup?" answer with. So he changed tack. Rather clever of him. So he started of with what he thought of the country's political situation. He had a "Behind-every-Manmohan-Singh-is-a-Sonia-with-a-whip" joke. He even had a "Mr Karat-can-you-move-a-bit-to-the-right-please". But before he could even utter the words, the questioning authority rode off into the sunset.

The Incredible Sulk was rather puzzled. He was bluer than a Pepsi ad on an Indian cricket jersey. But he was not one to give up easily.

So the next time he was asked what was up, he gave said questioning authority a taste of his own medicine.

"Whassup?," he bellowed, shaking the very foundations of the questioning authority's toupee. Unbelievably, with a nod, the said questioning authority was once more off into the sunset leaving behind a trail of goat droppings.

It was then that it struck the Incredible Sulk that, "Whassup?" had in fact replaced, the greeting "Hey," that had replaced the 80s greeting "Hi," that had replaced the primitive greeting of bashing your friend on the head with a crude club. So the only proper response to "Whassup?" was another "Whassup" in return.

Only after solving this and the answer to time travel, did the Incredible Sulk stop rambling.

The Incredible Sulk is not Incredible for no little reason.

And the answer to time travel is Roy Orbison. Not 42. Or that movie with the car and Micheal Fox.

Monday, February 14, 2011

THE INCREDIBLE SULK'S CRYSTAL BALLS - 2

However this may sound to you...

Welcome to another edition of the Incredible Sulk's Crystal Balls. For a better understanding please refer to the following link:

For the five of you who already know what I'm talking about, here it is:

-Following the success of the 2G, 3G and 4G scam, a new scam will hit India.
The G-string scam.
But(t) naturally, it will be difficult to keep it under wraps. The scam will involve a couple of politicians who conned prospective buyers into thinking that they were buying into a very narrow telecom spectrum. Many will be caught with their pants down.

-Lady Gaga will finally be declared mentally unstable. She will be diagnosed with new illness. It will be called "Popokerface." No one will be able to read it.

-Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse will open a rehabilitation centre. So no one will "try to make them go to rehab." Hence, they won't have to say "nooo, nooo, no."

-Saurav Ganguly will play for the Jaipur Jockstraps in the 67th edition of the IPL. He will then wake up from his dream, and realise its the year 2074. And that he's a 102 years old.

-Miley Cyrus, after 50 botox injections to keep her sweet, innocent, annoying girl-like smile, will be dubbed Smiley Cyrus and spur a thousand different emoticons.