Aryabhata/Aryabhatta as you surely don't know, since you'll are the famed Generation Zzzzzzz, was a famous mathematician. As I hear loud groans and moans I realise that the Incredible Sulk's audience is distinctly uninterested in this drab subject. That accounts for the groans only. With raised eyebrow The Incredible Sulk must deduce and put the moans down to the fact that one of the Incredible Sulk's little flock is naughty, naughty.
But I deviate like a ballet dancer with two left feet. Aryabhata was a famous mathematician. Apart from having won the Most Trippy 6th Standard Textbook Illustration award for 10 years in a row he is known for the use of zero . Although he never really used the zero symbol (0). No. That went to some bright soul who couldn't draw a proper circle. He also is known for the approximation of Pi.
"Or as he is better known, Piscine Patel," The Incredible Sulk's Imaginary Girlfriend interjects. As The Incredible Sulk's Imaginary Girlfriend espouses the qualities of the visual orgy that was Life of Pi the Incredible Sulk's Incredibly Useless Research Department has all the research it needs to carry on research into the personal life of Aryabhat(t)a.
It is this unasked for soliloquy on the part of The Incredible Sulk's Imaginary Girlfriend that has led to The Incredible Sulk to believe that Aryabhat(t)a, single T or no, was a single man. Let us look at a few points of discussion then (only the second time that The Incredible Sulk has ever said that. The first time was at a Junior Church Youth Group meeting consisting of 1 person)
The first so-called point of discussion is inevitably The Zero(ironically). Any man inspired by the opposite sex would have dedicated his Eureka moment of discovering the zero to a woman. The modern-day zero symbol looks something like this - 0. Which not only looks like the sensous curves of a woman but looks uncannily like that part of a woman that....
(The Incredible Sulk takes momentary pause here for the simple fact that Google's Eyes are now rested upon the Incredible Sulk's back, finger hovering dangerously close to that Ages 18+ button.)
...looks like a shapely belly button.
(Good save, good save)
The second and most important point was the fact that Aryabhat(t)a wrote his most famous work, Aryabhatiya, which is not vain at all, at the tender age of 23. I must confess my ignorance for the way people lived back then primarily due to the fact that my I was still but a thought in SKYNETs' Human Embryo Development Strategy. And that I wasn't alive at the time. But even at the age of 23 my uneducated guess was that there were some boys who would steal out late from the ashram at night to peek across the wall to where the girly ashram was.
But not Aryabhat(t)a. Oh no. He was diligently working on a mathematical piece of art that would shape the Trigonometry and Algebra that would ultimately make me opt for 'Arts' stream. Bloody nerds. Not for him were the distractions of the flesh or sneaking peeks into the loose brick at the girly ashram's showers.
The Incredible Sulk's Incredibly Useless Research Department is also inclined to deduce that if Aryabhatta were not single he would have created a seperate number system for the opposite sex.
The Incredible Sulk's Imaginary Girlfriend raises an eyebrow at this juncture, a particularly difficult manouevre and akin to animals behaving weird before natural catastrophes. But the Incredible Sulk persists, bravely ignoring the facial expressions and the Maori war paint the Imaginary Girlfriend daubs on, sharpening her battle axe at the same time.
The Incredible Sulk's Imaginary Girlfriend raises an eyebrow at this juncture, a particularly difficult manouevre and akin to animals behaving weird before natural catastrophes. But the Incredible Sulk persists, bravely ignoring the facial expressions and the Maori war paint the Imaginary Girlfriend daubs on, sharpening her battle axe at the same time.
You see, the opposite sex operates on a completely different number scale. The Incredible Sulk reminisces about the time he got ready for a movie/wedding/work in 10 minutes flat. However said duration of 10 minutes does not exist in the opposite sex's lexicon of numerical phrases. For although the Incredible Sulk's Imaginary Girlfriend remonstrates that it indeed takes her 10 minutes to get ready, it would seem that her new Titan watch be stuck in some sort of time warp. For, till date, it has not taken her less than 45 minutes to "get ready." I use this term loosely as by "get ready" I mean "drag her out."
Oh Aryabhat(t)a! How hast thou failed thine own sex!
For if you were you to tread the road that would have led you to lead a life forever betrothed you would have realised. I present to you oh not-so-discerning-reader my last focus group. They are the men strewn outside trial rooms, laden with the spoils of clothes yet to be tried on, usually a drooling baby or naughty twin boys hanging off the other arm. Vacant, blank looks on their faces.Their morbid existence is broken every 2 minutes by a voice that says, "This size doesn't fit me. I'm not a size 28 anymore." Whatever the answer the poor bugger decides to reply with one can be assured that hell on earth is a given for said poor bugger.
For if you were you to tread the road that would have led you to lead a life forever betrothed you would have realised. I present to you oh not-so-discerning-reader my last focus group. They are the men strewn outside trial rooms, laden with the spoils of clothes yet to be tried on, usually a drooling baby or naughty twin boys hanging off the other arm. Vacant, blank looks on their faces.Their morbid existence is broken every 2 minutes by a voice that says, "This size doesn't fit me. I'm not a size 28 anymore." Whatever the answer the poor bugger decides to reply with one can be assured that hell on earth is a given for said poor bugger.
Need I say more? No. Primarily because it's nap time.
