("Naturally," says the Incredible Sulk's imaginary girlfriend, "otherwise it'd be called Die Hard 2.")
The Incredible Sulk's imaginary girlfriend is a bit ticked off. She got the entire Die Hard die cast original DVD set as an anniversary present. And she's not so sure it was from the heart. I try telling her, she's imaginary, what good would diamond earrings do? But she wants to go to a marriage counselor. I tell her, that the only counselors that would listen to me rave about my imaginary girlfriend would be the ones that would interview me behind a glass screen in a room with padded walls....
But I am straying from the point.
First there was Die Hard 1. It made being bald cool. Then there was Die Hard 2. It made being bald and 40 look cool.
Then there was Die Hard 3. Die Hard 3 was more an "improvement" on the first two movies. As much as you can improve on the-wild-bald-guy-shooting-theme. I would compare it to taking a simlie such as, "like a little boy in a candy store," and changing it to "like a little boy in a Triumph store."
Then you sat back in your wooden rocking chair, smoking your pipe, overlooking your cotton plantation, and you wake up from your dream, and realise you're not an integral part of the British colonial empire in India. You still wonder what you're doing in an 1890s British army costume with a half-finished bottle of rum lying next to your bedside table. In this reverie you say to yourself, they definitely will not come out with a Die Hard 4. For one, Bruce Willis is now an exhibit in the Natural History Museum. Plus after the first three Die Hard movies, you think all those Eastern European idiots who underestimated John McLane would know better by now. And hopefully got a speech coach.
However Die Hard 4 brings you a new villain. A son of the soil. No, he's not Maharashtrian! He is in fact, an American. His name, Thomas Gabriel. No! He's not Mallu either!
As an Indian watching this movie, you will not spend your time trying to decipher Thomas Gabriel's descendants. You will instead spend your time, drooling over Maggie Q. The minds of people who have not watched this movie will immediately revert to a limited edition of a two-minute noodle. I assure all 10 people(viewership is up 50%!) who read my blog...Maggie Q is a much tastier dish. She dies in the middle though. So you might wanna stop watching at about 01:09:12.
If one looks beyond the mindless shooting and the hot villainous chick, one can see what the director is trying to convey throughout the movie. That eternal message of immortality; because Bruce Willis just cannot die.
Let me prove this point. There is an F-22 Raptor fighter jet in the movie that is firing wildly at a truck Bruce Willis is driving. The F-22 Raptor is invisible to radar, impossible to trace and will be the US Air Force's formeost fighter jet. However, the good men at the plane-making place thing forgot to make it Bruce Willis resistant. Watch the movie, you'll see.
Last heard, the Chinese were contacting black market arms dealers looking for a weapon they called, Thee Broos Weeleese.
There is another message the director is trying to convey through this theme of immortality. And that is...the sequel. Expect Die Hard 5.0. And a 70-year-old Bruce Willis. With a walker. That has in-built machine guns.
