Moe

This is a story

Told long ago

Of courage and glory

And a man named Moe

Moe was a man

So tall and big

He could lift steel cans

And ate like a pig

Yet Moe was kind

And gentle as snow

No kinder would you find

No kinder would you know

He wouldn’t hurt a fly

Or a cricket or beetle

In the matter of grey matter

He had very little

And then one day

Moe fell in love

Although many thought him gay

He was as straight as a horny dove.

Moe loved this girl

With a love deep and true

On Moe the girl would hurl

When he gave her plastic flowers of blue.

Yet Moe did not give up

He pursued her and her heart

But when he gave her a gift once

He let pass a fart.

The girl wrinkled her nose

And screamed, “Yuck Moe,”

Moe offered her a rose

To help the frightful scent go.

The girl loved Moe not,

But Moe would still persist

And the next day he bought

A silver bracelet for her wrist.

People felt bad for Moe

For all the money he spent

They thought the girl a hoe

Bad vibes the girl was sent.

The girl went for a walk one day

In a meadow so green and gay

Yet in the meadow an evil troll lay

Fie fi fo fum would the clichéd troll say.

The troll jumped up and said

“Hello fair maiden and foolish girl,

I will take you to my bed,

And then my lungi will unfurl.”

The girl screamed and yelled

The troll said, “Shut up lady,”

But the girl still yelled

For she did not want a half troll baby.

As chance would have it

Moe was passing by

He saw his love was in for it

And a few choice abuses he let fly.

He flew at the troll,

The troll flew at him

Heads did roll,

The fight was grim.

In a bid to save trees

I’ve kept the fight short

I’ve helped nature

And not lost the plot.

Moe beat the troll

With his hammer and thongs

Moe squeezed the troll’s mole

While singing war songs.

The troll gave in

For he couldn’t match Moe,

Wearing Moe’s thongs,

He held his head low.

Moe swept the fair maiden,

Into his hairy arms,

With maiden he was laden,

Till they reached his fish farm.

Once safe, he set her down,

“Thanks Moe,” she said

Under his breath Moe muttered

“Thank me in bed?”

His face once brown,

With a kiss turned red.

They then fell in love

They married the next day

And Moe the horny dove

Proved he wasn’t gay.

And so the tale goes,

In a year there were soon little Moes

And so everyone was loved and happy

Except when the little ones made crappy in their nappy.