THE NEW SPECIES

Biologists recently travelled to the Land of India, or as Obama likes to call it, "That Fucking IT Country." In their travels they found a number of new species. One, that I would like to bring to all 4 of my reader's attentions is the one they called, Riksha Driver, scientific name Rikshadriverscankissmyass.

Biologists say they were pleasantly surprised at the find, and reckoned that this new species had not yet fully evolved like human beings had, yet possessed a unique language of their own that was not unlike the spoken languages of human beings. They also discovered that different regions contained different types of Riksha Driver. For exampe the type found in Mumbai, seemed to follow a rather loose law that biologists called the Meter. This law seemed to govern them, yet worked for each individual's profit. Biologists called this phenomenon, Rigged Friggin Meter. The Mumbai Riksha Driver seemed also to sprout Fare Cards, that seemed to have a random set of figures, not unlike our number system. Although they were mostly fearless, the Mumbai Riksha Drivers would show signs of fear towards two things. They called it the ArtyOh! and the Pandu. Biologists are unsure of what this is. Although they did once see a pot bellied man running around with a stick once, and the Mumbai Riksha Drivers fled at this sight. The biologists also saw that the Mumbai, like many other types of Riksha Driver liked to leave what biologists called a Red Trail. The Ricksha Drivers would, at intervals mark their trail with a red liquid. But their is no unique scent. Hence their habitat is choc-a-bloc with Red Trails. And its sometimes hard to tell whether someone's been killed as the red liquid is a lighter version of blood.

Further south they found a more untamed Riksha Driver. This Riksha Driver shouted random numbers at them whenever the biologists got close. On learning the Southern Riksha Drivers metric system they found it to be not very orderly. In human terms their number system started at 40 and went on to 100 and subsequently 150, 170, 250 and so on...

Biologists reported that by the time they had finished their expedition they did not have any money left. More on this story as it develops.