The Incredible Sulk isn't exactly the brightest bulb in whatever the collective noun for a group of lightbulbs is. At the best of times he walks around with a dull, dim-witted expression on his face. That sort of hangdog look on his face. Quite what a hangdog is the Incredible Sulk doesn't know. Possibly some sort of doggy executioner. He worries not with trivial matters such as these, safe in the knowledge that such is the expression on his face.
But bright and sharp aren't attributes the Incredible Sulk is attributed with (the Incredible Sulk's Imaginary Girlfriend noddingly interjects, knowingly stroking her chin; She has much to say on the matter).
(But it's MY blog so Booyah!!!)
The Incredible Sulk's dim witted expression is hard to fathom you say. Well...picture if you will a man of average intelligence. Now ask him how Sharukh Khan and rickshaw drivers who don't want to go anywhere make money. That fair maidens and scruffy looking men is what the Incredible Sulk's permanent face-state is. So it's little wonder then that when The Incredible Sulk (who is slave to autocorrect who is master of when the 'T' in the Incredible Sulk is uppercase, lowercase etc etc) is ridiculed frequently. How could they?!?! my loyal reader(s?) cries. Blasphemy! you spew forth, drowning The Incredible Sulk's enemies in a flood of your spittle. Foul! you cry, little knowing this isn't a game of football and you're looking at the wrong screen my dear befuddled chap.
But it is true dear reader. Sad, but true.
In recent times-like today-The Incredible Sulk was ridiculed for deriving philosophy from a movie that intellectuals believed was far beneath their plane of thought. A plane of thought of Ship of Theseus and Thateus. A movie that The Incredible Sulk's Incredibly Useless Research Department dubbed "This Season's Most Watched Movie That Will Only End Next Season." Far beneath the plane of intellectual thought that included a movie like "Lincoln", said to be "Movie That Shouldn't Be Watched While Operating Heavy Machinery" & "Movie That Should Have Remained A Car" by The Incredible Sulk's Incredibly Useless Research Department.
These very same intellectuals scoffed at The Incredible Sulk for putting forth the theory that there might be some philosophy in After Earth. They scoffed dear reader and sniffed their noses in that haughty way, haughty people sniff and scoff. They put a dainty index finger and manicured thumb through a fine china cup of tea and drank deeply. They dipped cream scones and dusted the crumbs onto The Incredible Sulk's face. They thought his mouth wasn't open. Ha!
The Incredible Sulk's apparent folly was to use a quote from the Will Smith & Family starrer that ran as such:
"Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice."
The Incredible Sulk as his reader(s?) and building night watchman knows is terrified of dogs. However on repeating this quote to himself and drinking copious amounts of alcohol The Incredible Sulk managed to overcome The Not Real Fear and ended up chasing said dogs and did other questionable things to mark territory and empty bladder. The Incredible Sulk would however miss out on a crucial part in the quote. The Very Real Danger part of the quote. The Incredible Sulk misunderstood. And was subsequently chased by said dogs.
Which is not to say that The Incredible Sulk hasn't learnt anything. He has learnt that Will Smith had to say "fear" four times in that quote. He has also learnt that those who scoff and sniff usually end up having serious sinus issues and ultimately end up laughing like Janice from Friends. This alleviates The Incredible Sulk's dim witted look from time to time. Aaaaaand it's back again.
But bright and sharp aren't attributes the Incredible Sulk is attributed with (the Incredible Sulk's Imaginary Girlfriend noddingly interjects, knowingly stroking her chin; She has much to say on the matter).
(But it's MY blog so Booyah!!!)
The Incredible Sulk's dim witted expression is hard to fathom you say. Well...picture if you will a man of average intelligence. Now ask him how Sharukh Khan and rickshaw drivers who don't want to go anywhere make money. That fair maidens and scruffy looking men is what the Incredible Sulk's permanent face-state is. So it's little wonder then that when The Incredible Sulk (who is slave to autocorrect who is master of when the 'T' in the Incredible Sulk is uppercase, lowercase etc etc) is ridiculed frequently. How could they?!?! my loyal reader(s?) cries. Blasphemy! you spew forth, drowning The Incredible Sulk's enemies in a flood of your spittle. Foul! you cry, little knowing this isn't a game of football and you're looking at the wrong screen my dear befuddled chap.
But it is true dear reader. Sad, but true.
In recent times-like today-The Incredible Sulk was ridiculed for deriving philosophy from a movie that intellectuals believed was far beneath their plane of thought. A plane of thought of Ship of Theseus and Thateus. A movie that The Incredible Sulk's Incredibly Useless Research Department dubbed "This Season's Most Watched Movie That Will Only End Next Season." Far beneath the plane of intellectual thought that included a movie like "Lincoln", said to be "Movie That Shouldn't Be Watched While Operating Heavy Machinery" & "Movie That Should Have Remained A Car" by The Incredible Sulk's Incredibly Useless Research Department.
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| Lincoln. Navigator. |
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| A Haughty Man. Umm..Woman. Basically A Haughty. |
The Incredible Sulk's apparent folly was to use a quote from the Will Smith & Family starrer that ran as such:
"Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice."
The Incredible Sulk as his reader(s?) and building night watchman knows is terrified of dogs. However on repeating this quote to himself and drinking copious amounts of alcohol The Incredible Sulk managed to overcome The Not Real Fear and ended up chasing said dogs and did other questionable things to mark territory and empty bladder. The Incredible Sulk would however miss out on a crucial part in the quote. The Very Real Danger part of the quote. The Incredible Sulk misunderstood. And was subsequently chased by said dogs.
Which is not to say that The Incredible Sulk hasn't learnt anything. He has learnt that Will Smith had to say "fear" four times in that quote. He has also learnt that those who scoff and sniff usually end up having serious sinus issues and ultimately end up laughing like Janice from Friends. This alleviates The Incredible Sulk's dim witted look from time to time. Aaaaaand it's back again.
Hahahahahah...nice!
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